I just want to be a mother.
As long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mother. My idea of a perfect life was to be married to a loving husband and to have as many children as we could afford. I was married at the young age of 18 to the most loving man a woman could ask for, and he wanted children too.
Infertility
For six years we waited for God to give us our own diminutive miracle. I would lay in bed at night asking God to please bless us with a baby. My prayers soon turned to crying conversations with God, telling him that I impartial wanted to be like everyone else. Everyone around us seemed to effortlessly have child after child. What had I done in my life that God would instruct me this gift?
We finally broke down and went to a fertility doctor. He was always so impersonal and uncaring, telling me one visit, “you know that pregnancy is an act of God!” We went looking for another doctor. A friend referred us to Dr. Mezrah, who from the first time we say him was caring and positive we would have success. We had found the right doctor.
After less then six months of treatments with Dr. Mezrah I was pregnant with our first child. It was a fabulous pregnancy and we could hardly wait to meet our little miracle.
Birth
Leslie Michele was born just after midnight October 3rd 1989 and we were finally parents!
Parenthood
I knew right away that I wanted to have more than just one child. Motherhood was the happiest time in my life and I wanted Leslie to have many brothers and sisters, but I knew financially it was impossible right away.
One Sunday morning while stopping in the Nursery at church to change Leslie’s diaper I meet another mother my age who also had a beautiful baby girl. We started talking the usual mom talk, how old is your baby, is she teething yet, what kind of diapers do you spend? The other mom explains to me that her baby is her foster child that she has cared for from birth. She has been working with an organization called Faith House, a church based foster care program that the State of Florida was using to care for babies born positive for drugs at birth. I was instantly intrigued and called that week to sign up for foster care training. The program would allow me to be a stay at home mom and have that big family I had always wanted. Leslie would soon have lots of brothers and sisters to grow up with and we were very excited.
Babies, Babies, Babies!
Leslie was nine months old when we welcomed the fist two miniature girls into our home. We had many babies come in and out of our home from newborns true from the hospital to toddlers. Anytime the Maternal bug started biting me, another newborn would arrive into our life. We would foster anywhere from 3 to 5 babies at a time all under the age of 2 years old. Life was never dull in our home.
Baby Girl
One day I got a call from Faith House asking me if I could take a 2 week old baby girl. I was excited. I can’t really explain it but every time I got a call to pick up another baby it was the same feeling as when I found out that I was pregnant. Happy, nervous, not know quite what to request but always intelligent.
When I got to Faith House and they handed me the tiny pink bundle it was instant love. We went over her records and thats when I found out that the baby had no name. The mother had left the hospital without giving her a name, most probably to get back to the crack cocaine that she took while pregnant. So what do I call her? Faith House told me to give her a name so I did. I named her Kristen.
Mommy shows up
A few months had gone by and I received a call from Faith House that Kristen’s mother has shown up a HRS wanting to see her baby. The visitation was set up at the HRS office down town, and I was to supervise the visit. I took some recent photos of Kristen to give to her mother and dressed Kristen in the most beautiful pink outfit. Kristen’s mother came in smelling of alcohol and crying her eyes out about missing her baby. She told me that in fact she had named her baby and her name was Corena. So we called her Corena.
Beana
I had to explain to Leslie and the other foster children that Kristen’s name was now Corena, but when the not quite 2 year weak Leslie tried to say Corena, it came out sounding like Beana. So we called her Beana.
Birthday
Soon it was Beana’s first birthday and her mother had not made grand progress in getting her daughter serve although she peaceful had visitation about once a month. I wanted to have a birthday party for Beana that her mother could reach to so her caseworker said to have it in a public setting. So we went to Chuck E Cheese. Beana’s mother showed up claiming that someone had stolen her wallet and that is why she could not get her anything for her birthday. I gave Beana’s mother some more pictures that I had taken for her first birthday and Beana played and ate cake and had fun. Beana’s mother ultimately gave up trying to get her daughter back and returned to the drugs she loved so great.
Life goes on
Beana was such a joy in our life, she was smart and had just one side effect from the crack that her mother had done while pregnant with her. Before beana started to walk the doctors wanted her to go the physical therapy. The drugs had made her muscles very stiff in her legs and they didn’t want this to interfere with her learning to chase properly. So we went to therapy and they taught me how to exercise her legs and in not time she learned to sail just fine.
Everyone in our family loved Beana, she was a happy toddler. Beana loved watching Barney and Disney’s Beauty and The Beast. She would suck her thumb and hold her favorite blanket eyes peeled to the television pulling her thumb out occasionally to sing along with the movie.
Beana also loved to listen to Country music and it still makes me laugh when I think about her riding in her car seat singing along to the chorus of Prop Me Up Against the Juke Box when I die.
Beana went on a family vacation with us to Disney World and was so excited to sight Belle and The Beast in the parade!
Holiday dinners at my parents house was always a special time and everyone got such a kick out of Beana putting the tremendous black olives on all of her fingers a the dinner table and eating them one at a time off of each finger. Never a holiday dinner goes by without the black olives reminding us all of Beana.
Beana turns 2 and Mom lets go
Soon Beana turned two year old and her mother decided to give up her parental rights. Beana is going up for adoption.
Being a foster parent is both rewarding and heart breaking at the same time. We were asked first if we wanted to adopt Beana and after much praying and discussion we decided that we would let another couple that had been praying for a miracle get their gift from God. The crying had only just begun.
New Family
It did not take HRS long to come up with the most perfect parents for Beana. The Mother was Bi-racial just like Beana and they even looked allot alike. The Father was already a stepfather to their ten year old son and they both were looking forward to being parents together of a little girl. The couple had found out after they got married that they could not get pregnant and decided on adoption.
Beana was now two and a half years old and the transition from our home to her new family took only a few weeks. First Beana went with her current family for the day and they gave her a small gift of modern slippers that she brought back to our home.
The next step was a sleep-over, Beana took her new slippers and left them in her unique bedroom.
The final step was the hardest. The day came that Beana would be leaving our home for good. The caseworker would be coming to pick her up and take Beana to her fresh home.
Goodbye
We took some last pictures of Beana and I thought my heart was breaking in two. I didn’t cry until I picked her up for the last time. I kissed her and told her I loved her very great. I will never forget Beana wiping my face and saying Mommy don’t yell. Beana went to her novel home.
Beana turns 3
Beana’s third birthday came and her new parents invited us to her party. We had not seen Beana in six months. Would she remember us? Would she still call me Mommy? We went to party and Beana looked so good. At first she was a little confused and when she started calling me Mommy again and asking if she could go home with us, I knew coming to the party was a abominable idea.
A Gift
A few years go by and Leslie and I are at our local movie theater getting ready to see a movie. We made a quick halt into the ladies room before the movie began when someone calls out my name. I turn around and there is Beana and her adoptive mother. Beana was so glowing and I could tell she was so happy. I was a bit stunned and made shrimp talk with her mom for a few minutes never taking my eyes off of Beana. We turn to leave and I can hear Beana ask her Mom. “Mommy who was that lady? ” her mother says that is mommy’s very special friend. My heart healed a little bit at that moment. It was the greatest gift I ever could of got from being a foster parent knowing that a child that I had cared for and loved like my own had ended up with such a happy ending.
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